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| Despite my concern for others and the way they think about me, I'm still quite self-concerned. If you're not my family and you make me feel horrible just chatting with you, I don't want to deal with you. I might hesitate a little bit, but, in the end, it blows up either once, twice, or more until finally, I want you out of my fucking face.
This is what Carlita fails to realize.
I don't really know how wrong I've been in this situation, and I really don't care at this point. That, in itself, kind of scares me. All I know is that I can't stand her.
I still probably shouldn't have said some of the things I said. | | |
| Right now, I'm tired. I'm working off of 4 hours of sleep, so I'm a little sleep-deprived. I'm going to bed, soon, thankfully.
I can't help but think about how great it is to have an actual human friendship in person as opposed to online. That's not to say online friends aren't great, but there's always a special character to "IRL". For the first time, I've gotten to hang out with another MALE.
The only other friend I've ever really had was Lauren who's been my best friend since high school. We were boyfriend/girlfriend at one point(albeit uncomfortably for my part), so things have never been quite the same. Plus, I've never quite been intimate with her. Is it possible to be friends without intimacy?
There's a wealth of new feelings there that complicate things, though. Lately, I've been getting rather depressed for no reason. I'm not sure if its connected to this friendship business. | | |
| Wow. I found my old Xanga that has... JUST TWO ENTRIES? Damn. Things have changed since that last post. Things have changed muchly.
1. I'm enrolled at Auburn University Montgomery. My life has been completely put back together again from when UAH kicked me out the door. I have a full tuition scholarship along with a 3.81 GPA that finally reflects my all-too-dazzling SAT scores(1470; 670 verbal; 800 math).
2. I have a job that I like. I am a furniture associate who was formerly a technology associate who was formerly a cashier at Office Depot. I make decent money(above minimum wage anyway), and the people there are great.
3. I listen to better music. 'nuff said.
4. I actually have friends.
5. I'm still not dead. | | |
| Well, yesterday was a pretty cool day. I actually got some college stuff done! I was able to complete my exit counseling so I can transfer over to AUM, and finally go back to college! I wonder if I should be dreading it or looking forward to it...
All I really have to do is get UAH to send my transcripts over.
Anyways, I went to the gym with Jerry yesterday, and now, instead of just my legs hurting, my entire BODY hurts. Yesterday, I felt like and old granny because of the way I needed to help myself up with my hands. It was rather pathetic. Not to mention when I squeeze my buttcheeks together, it hurts like hell. =P Okay, maybe that was a little TOO much information...
I finally got a job application for Books-A-Million. Hopefully, I can FINALLY get some income rolling in so just MAYBE I can get a car sometime in my life. I also got the new Terry Goodkind book Naked Empire! Woohoo! I finally have something else to read!
We also went out to eat. Mmmmm.... Ryans... best steak in the world. =D
Well, that's all for now! Later days. | | |
| Well, here goes this journal thingamajig. I figure that I'll give people a chance to keep track of me since I'm not online that much during the day.
Life is boring. Get up, eat breakfast, go to doctor, laze around. LIFE IS BOOOOOOOORING.
But, hey! It's my fault, lol. So, I guess I'll go to the gym and maybe that'll help. Later days!
Here's the second part! =P Me and my mom had a big fight... about my friggin' room! Argh, I'm a slob, what can I say? But she acts like it's gonna be put into a showroom or something. Oh well, I understand. *sigh* I hate being wrong!
I usually have NOOO problem saying I'm sorry, but... *shrugs*
Oh well, life goes on. =P | | |
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